Temporary Insanity

Why am I a temp? Its perfect. A different office every 3 months. I skim the best tricks from other admins, so every job I come to, I am better armed than the one before. I am always growing my list of rules. 

  1. Consider your private life like Fight Club. 
  2. Put up the picture of the kids screaming in the bathtub. This is all they need to know. 
  3. Bring a giant fucking thermos, a shawl, hand cream and tissues, a full medicine cabinet, really. 
  4. Start a notepad. find the good pen.
  5.  Get on the intranet, poke around. 
  6. Write everything down. 
  7. Look up the stock price. 
  8. Learn the CEO’s face, if not their name. I never remember their name. 
  9. Write everything down. 
  10. Find where the smokers hang out. Watch that space. 
  11. Find where people get coffee. 
  12. Learn the mail-lady’s name. Chat her up. 
  13. Learn the security guard’s name. Chatteth also. 

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